The Story of No Sin
Once upon a time, there were two people in this world, a man and a woman. And the Almighty God, who created this man and this woman named Adam and Eve to live in a world of paradise. A world with nothing but positive things and happy moments. Adam and Eve were meant for each other. Adam and Eve traveled together, going on different journeys each and every day, experiencing different food and different sights across the world, while learning everything from the Almighty God. God taught them how to live, how enjoy life, how to do everything right, not to ever make any mistakes and live life without sin, which Adam and Eve never knew of such a thing called "sin." They lived a perfect life and eventually God created more men and women to follow the path of Adam and Eve. These men and women new to the world, would follow Adam and Eve's path and learn everything from them. They simply lived the same life as Adam and Eve, no lies, no mistakes, no sadness, no pain and no death. Everyone born in this world lived a life of eternity. Everyone in the world lived a dream of happiness and lived with everything they could ever imagine. After a few years of traveling and living a life that everyone wishes to live; a life full of happiness and perfection, Adam and Eve decided it was time to part ways. The main reason Adam and Eve decided to part ways was because they felt like they had done everything that they could possibly do in their life. They had done everything together that they could possibly imagine... Traveled the world, ate all the great food they wanted to eat, met all sorts of new people without ever having a sad moment at any point in their life. What else is there to do?? You have lived life to the fullest, what more could make you happier? Adam and Eve did not know the answer to this question and decided that they would be better off going separate ways and starting a whole new perfect life with another person to travel with them, doing all the same stuff they did with each other. In a way, Adam and Eve felt life was getting boring and were somewhat getting tired of one another. In a way, they wondered, is this what life is really about? Everything we ever wanted, we have. Anything we want, we can get. Is there anything more for us to do??
Author's Note:
My story is based on Adam and Eve and how they were created by God to be the first man and first woman. They were created to live a life of paradise on earth, however Adam and Eve eventually fell into the life of suffering and sin, living through ups and downs, constantly committing sins and begging for God's forgiveness. Fortunately for Adam and Eve, God was forgiving of their sins. This story lead me to think... What would life be like without sin? What would life be like without suffering and pain? My whole point of my story is that Adam and Eve had everything they ever wanted, but they never experienced any pain or suffering, allowing them to grow as stronger people. In my opinion, life is all about getting through your most painful moments and toughest challenges and Adam and Eve did not have any of this and it grew them apart. It was almost as if life was boring without sin and suffering. So my main questions from this story is... What do you think life would be like without sin and suffering? Would we grow as people? Would life be boring like it did with Adam and Eve?
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Hi Patrick!
ReplyDeleteI haven't read a Biblical story yet so I'm glad that you wrote one! I'm familiar with the story of Adam and Eve so I was expecting the part where the snake coaxes Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, but then all of the sudden, life was still perfect. It was a very interesting take on the story, and I never thought about it in that way. My dad used to tell me that Earth, the way it is, is already paradise. I guess he meant that even though there is still sadness in the world, it is those events that bring humanity together. It made me sad to think of Adam and Eve separating from one another when they are THE couple that started it all. What would happen with everyone in the world if there was no sin? Do you think it would eventually happen? I feel like there would be that ONE person that would want to break the paradise and create the chaos. It's just inevitable.
Hey Patrick,
ReplyDeleteI loved your choice of a biblical story; I find those really interesting. I like the idea of looking at the story of Adam and Eve from a "what if" perspective. What if they hadn't tasted the fruit of the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil? What if they had lived in paradise forever? That's a great question and it really gets you thinking!
I wish I could have felt more involved with the characters in this story, though. I would have loved to experience this situation from Adam or Eve's perspective, really get inside their heads and imagine what they would think. That's the great opportunity about writing stories from stories; we get to create more detail and emotion we missed out on the first time!
One suggestion I would make would be to break up the story a little bit more. Instead of one long paragraph, it's usually easier to read a story with several smaller paragraphs, and that way the reader has a sense of pace and setting or time change.
I also think it might help to make the descriptions more concise. Instead of several sentences about how perfect the world was, and then how perfect their lives were, you could do just a few sentences with more detail about the perfection of their lives, and then spend more time on action or character development. (Of course, you can't do much with character development in short stories like these, but a few details about "his his constantly furrowed brow" or "her insatiable desire to be the most fabulous person in town" can reveal a lot about a character.)
Hi Patrick!
ReplyDeleteI have grown up learning the story of Adam and Eve and have heart many different homilies and talks about it but none like this. I mean what if the world was perfect, there was no sin, and there was no sorrow? Sometimes I wish that that was the case, so I wouldn't have to worry about anything, but other times it is refreshing to rise up from being at the bottom. The process of growing and learning it mesmerizing and an important factor to everyone's lives. Of course I'm not saying I want to live a life with sin, but how we come back from sin is what really pushes us to love the Lord even more. Very interesting, it definitely made me think!
I really enjoyed the perspective you took on retelling this traditional bible story. I haven't considered before what life would be like without sin, but I'm glad you did because it got me thinking.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chandler that the story would have been easier to read if you had broken up the long blocks of paragraphs into smaller sections. Also more details would have been a nice touch; I feel like you covered everything but at the same time it was all pretty surface level wording. All in all, really clever thinking and I enjoyed your storytelling style.