A small town in Colorado, Image Link
There once was an 80 year old man named Abram Brown, who lived in a small town in Northern Colorado. The whole town knew of Abram Brown because he would walk into town every morning to have a big breakfast at his favorite breakfast spot, The Café. Abram Brown was known as a nice man who would say hi to anybody who walked by, but most people knew Abram Brown as the guy with the long brown coat that button’d down all the way to his ankles. He would wear this coat regardless of the temperature outside. Abram Brown would wake up and walk into town from his house just one mile away. Abram Brown was once a skinny man, until he ate pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs and biscuits and gravy every morning for two consecutive years. Abram Brown was 160 lbs until two years later after all of those big breakfasts, he grew all the way up to 300 lbs. As each day and each breakfast passed by, it got more and more complicated for Mr. Brown to button down that old brown coat. Then, one day he could not button it at all. Despite gaining so much weight and not being able to button his coat, Mr. Brown walked to The Café every single morning, coat on but unbutton’d, to have his usual breakfast and coffee while he read the daily newspaper. The whole town was shocked to see Mr. Brown gain so much weight over time. One day, Mr. Brown woke up to start his usual routine and as he stepped out his door on his way to have his usual breakfast at The Café, Mr. Brown collapsed and had a heart attack and died right away. The heart attack was caused by his unhealthy eating habits and all the weight that he had gained over time. The town was shocked and saddened to hear the news, as the brown button’d coat man they knew so long would no longer be walking the streets of their lovely town each morning.
Author’s Note:
This story is simply about a man named Abram Brown who once wore a brown coat that button’d down. However, Abram Brown is now dead and gone. My imagination brought me to think of an old man in a small town that everyone knew of and would see walking the streets every day. Then, when I saw “button’d down before” I thought of a reason why that coat would for whatever reason not button down, bringing me to believe that Abram Brown gained so much weight that his coat got too small and he was unable to button it down.
This retelling is based on a nursery rhyme:
Old Abram Brown is dead and gone,
You’ll never see him more;
He used to wear a long brown coat,
That button’d down before.
The Nursery Rhyme Book , author unknown, released 2008
Patrick,
ReplyDeleteGreat story! You turned such a short nursery rhyme into a much longer story. I first tried to use a nursery rhyme but was having trouble expanding it. I like how you told your story based off of each line form the original nursery rhyme. It takes a lot of thought and creativity to create something from so little.
-Ashlie
I really like seeing how your interpretation of the rhyme affected the story you wrote. When I first read this rhyme while looking through the book I thought it said "button'd down before" because now he was dead and could not button his coat. Taking it to mean there was a time when he buttoned the coat but then stopped made for an interesting addition to the story and made me stop to look at some of the other rhymes a second time. Thank you for the new perspective!
ReplyDeleteNice story! I liked that you were able to read so much out of a short rhyme, I honestly don't know if I would have gotten that much from the rhyme myself if I had chosen that one! I really liked your description that you used! I was able to picture Mr. Brown happily walking down the street every morning to the cafe.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very creative take on that nursery rhyme! I like how you point out how odd it can feel when something from your daily routine is missing such as not seeing the old man walking down the streets everyday. I wonder if anyone ever said anything to him about his weight like his family. I feel like family or people he saw daily would eventually try to convince him of his weight issues. The story could really take off into a million directions if some family got involved. Also I wonder what kind of turn the story would have taken if you took "dead and gone" not literally. More in a way of he moved town or broke up with somebody. That could be a very interesting story. You did a great job of getting a lot out of a little and I think it was very creative!
ReplyDeleteWhat a awesome and creative way to retell this nursery rhythm! I loved the angle you took and I loved how you elaborated on why his coat wouldn't button anymore. To be honest, I kind of wanted to visit the Café myself after reading this! Pancakes sound so good! I think another great way to retell this story would be to use McDonalds or an unhealthy restaurant to describe how unhealthy he became. But since he sounds like a cute old man, the old breakfast cafe fits him perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of this nursery rhyme before. It is short and to the point, with little detail, so I like the way you took the few words and created an entire backstory. It is crazy the way our minds can work to read a small excerpt, such as this nursery rhyme, and imagine the way it came to be.
ReplyDeleteI loved the diction and repetition you used to describe Abram Brown and his buttoned down coat.
I wonder if Abram Brown was conscious of his weight gain and how it affected his walking into town and his wearing of the long buttoned coat. I also wonder why he liked a life of such routine and continuity, with the same outfit and breakfast and scenery.
What if the people of the town that saw Abram Brown at the Cafe on a daily basis expressed concern to him for his eating habits? What if the waiters at the Cafe told him to order something healthier than pancakes, waffles, eggs, and biscuits?
Overall, great story with a great use of your imagination to expand on the original nursery rhyme!